FREEBIES

Let’s consider the phrase ‘Freebie’ for a moment. What comes to mind? If you’re like most people (actually, all people), it translates as  ‘something for free.’ So, naturally, the section of the classified ads titled “Freebies” is devoted to…“Items under $55 ”.

Oxymoronic title aside, many of these ads are so bizarre (we’re looking at you, broken push-mower for $10) or so ridiculously vague (“Compact disc. Good music. $5”) that they raise way more questions about the seller than the items being sold.

You get the sneaking suspicion that some of these ads are just a creepy strategy to gain some desperately needed human contact (“…shoot, somebody just bought that blank floppy disk – but I got a bunch of other stuff…you want a Mountain Dew? Hey, you like Dukes of Hazzard?”)

Either way, you can’t help but admire these ads for their magical combination of poor execution, general stupidity and insane optimism.

Here’s a fistful of some personal favorites.

And if you see a particularly good example, send it to us! If we like it, we’ll add it to the gallery and credit you for your submission. Plus, we’ll have your grandparents dry-cleaned for free!